This week's post is based on an assignment I completed for my media analysis class. We had to find 5 pictures of what the expectations are for that idea, and then recreate those 5 photos with what it actually looks like while interpreting how the lighting, camera shots, and angles created certain meanings. I decided to choose the topic of dating in college based on all the #relationshipgoal posts I see on Twitter and Instagram. In order to find the "expectation" pictures, I typed the scene I was looking for in Google Images and used one of the first pictures that showed up in order to portray society's thoughts on the matter. High school and college relationships strive to meet those standards mostly for the likes and favs on social media. In reality, the average couple doesn't actually look like those movie moments, but instead, they create their own movie moments through completely normal everyday instances. It's the little things that count in college! So, here is my view of what college dating actually is like.
Expectation
When I typed "typical college guy" into Google Images, this is what I got. The purpose of this picture is to show what society thinks is the typical guy that girls strive to date in college. The expectation is that girls always go after the typical Sperry-wearing, clean cut, preppy, frat boys. There is also the typical frat boy stereotype thrown in here, because for all I know they may not be in a fraternity, where are their letters?The way that these guys look is supposed to indicate a high status, popular, good with the ladies, host awesome parties, and always have fun. It also suggests that guys are all the same due to their similar outfit choices, facial expressions, and other features. I don't know which is weirder, the fact that they look like a pack of tropical Skittles, or that they are showing more legs than I am right now. For every college campus it is different, but here at Gustavus, if this crew was seen walking around, they would be anything but average.
Reality
While their pose may look more unusual than the last picture, this is what the average fraternity here at Gustavus is like. They are easy-going, goofy, and don't look like a rainbow or that they're constantly going boating. I was also trying to convey that girls don’t all go after the same kind of guy. They can be tall, short, blonde, brunette, introverted, extroverted, and so much more. Brotherly love doesn’t mean being identical in every way. Reality also shows that this picture is not taken at a boat dock, but instead, our very average cafeteria.
Expectation
According to the Internet, this is what a majority think of when they hear "study date." If someone says they are having a study date later, a smirk often follows accompanied by the sarcastic “sure, study date” comment with air quotes. It's assumed that study date means Netflix and Chill which means...well, you know. The location is supposed to create a risky type feeling because apparently kissing in a public place is seen as dangerous or uncommon according to this picture, which is why the book is hiding their faces. I don't know about you, but I don't think that's the book that guy was looking for.
Reality
First of all, IPhone camera quality isn't the best for candids. I will admit that I pretended to be taking a snap selfie to diverge from the fact that I creepily was taking a picture of these people from across the room. It fulfilled its purpose. This picture shows that study dates do in fact involve studying. Just like the idea of student athlete means balancing both things, study dates involve studying and dating at the same time! This picture shows the reality of a study date because it is in a public place, they aren't sucking each other's faces, but yet they are still in our little cafe here on campus which has a little bit more mood lighting than our cafeteria (ohh la la). While they may be lovingly gazing into each other's eyes rather than the homework they have in front of them, this is a legit portrayal of the typical Gustie study date.
Expectation
Does this look like a typical college dinner date to you? If you answered yes, next, ask yourself if your date spoon fed you. Majority says that THIS is what a dinner date looks like. Everything is so cliché in this picture such as the red sexy dress and matching lipstick, the “cute” idea of spoon feeding their date, and candlelit dinner. This photo was definitely posed, but still, this is what most people picture as romance in their minds. After a long day of classes, I think the last thing I'd want to do is wear a strapless dress. In addition, if I was being spoon fed my meal, I would at least open my mouth wide enough so the forkful could actually clear my choppers. I find it funny that people believe college students can afford dates like this when really, we can barely afford to buy our own meal at Chipotle.
Reality
What I am trying to convey through this picture, is that a college dinner date doesn’t have to be fancy, and most of the time isn’t. The food doesn’t have to be glamorous, and neither does the setting. They are relaxed and enjoying themselves despite the fact they are in a public cafeteria that has no romantic appeal at all. It is a good thing that he is not feeding her that ice cream because she can't even feed herself, as she started choking shortly after this was taken. I tried to get them to pose like the other photo, but even then, posing for pictures that are supposed to be candid is so unnatural, making this picture into one with genuine emotion because they were laughing at how ridiculous trying to look cute while eating was. We were making quite a bit of noise while doing this, and as you can see, the girls in the background are not phased at all. This just tells you how common it is to see weird stuff like this! Dating in college is not supposed to be posed in any way. Even though she is making a fool of herself (as she often does but I love her anyways) he doesn't care, and is looking at her possibly thinking "dang, I am one lucky guy"...or maybe "what am I dating."
Expectation
This image shows a couple in a “movie-like” scene. The fireworks are going off at the perfect time, the couple is as happy as can be, and life can’t get better than this. This is a true #relationshipgoals moment. Every girl wants this photo with their significant other to post on Instagram, when really, the guy was probably forced into doing this against his own will. The couple is matching and in a "huggy" pose, giving off the message that they are happy all the time, and inseparable. Society widely believes that spouses are met in college, and that college is the time to go on cute dates, escalate the relationship so it could be made into a cheesy IMovie montage, and a direct route to marriage. Society says college is the stage of life seen as “the best years of your life,” including all relationships had in college.
Reality
While I must admit that I am a part of the majority and think that cutesy couple pictures are adorable, I soon realized just how unnatural they are when trying to recreate this with Alex. What I am trying to convey here, is that not everything about college dating is glamorous and cute. Often times, it is just hanging out in a dorm room watching a movie, doing something on campus, or chilling as a group. There are no fireworks, and even though there may be an Eiffel Tower, this photo is far from the glamorous expectations of society. It is honestly really hard to try to be one of those couples, when that isn't the norm in college at all. Being happy in a college relationship doesn't require movie moments, fancy places, or #goals pictures for Instagram. I am perfectly happy spending time in a college dorm, with a guy that willingly accepted to help me out with a school project. That's #goals in my book!
Expectation
When typing in “college relationship expectations,” this photo is one that showed up in the results. This tells me that a lot of people expect boyfriends to buy their girlfriends expensive gifts, or romantic gifts. The fact that there is even a picture of this also tells me that girls like to show off their gifts, and how “loving” their boyfriend is. Society is not shy to say that money buys happiness, and successful relationships. These expectations are not surprising, as movies and love stories show girls receiving expensive jewelry, and other nice gifts. The dude's face can’t even be seen in the picture, for all we know, he could be crying about how much money he just spent in order for his girlfriend to take a cliché picture for Instagram. Or maybe he ran into his grandma in Victoria's Secret for the 7 for $30 deal. Overall, society believes that big romantic gestures equal love and happiness.
Reality
What I tried to convey through taking this picture is that it is the little things that count. Although the expectations of relationships ultimately depend on the people involved in it, I'm a sentimental person when it comes to the things "made with love." My mom could write me a meaningful note on a Kleenex and I am positive that Kleenex would be proudly be hanging on my wall. This small gesture meant a lot more than anything money could buy. The purpose of this photo is to show how average everything is, starting with the short message scribbled in cute guy handwriting on a post it note, and in an average dorm room. Even though it is all average, and is no giant gesture, it speaks volumes and means much more than the effort it took. In college, it doesn’t take much to create meaning, especially since the initiative was taken by him to show how much he cares. This method fits the college budget much better as well!
Those are just five instances where I see flaws in what is expected of relationships. This is purely my opinion, so if you and your significant other actually pull all this stuff off, that's impressive! College is a time for creating awesome experiences with awesome people, not about only doing things for the purpose of getting likes on Instagram. I think the limitations we experience in college, such as money and time, create better connections because couples learn to enjoy each other based on the bare minimum. I'd like to think that the couples that take weird pictures, make late night ice cream runs to the caf, can study together and actually be productive, like each other for their personalities, and appreciate the little things, are the ones that make it in the end.
Remember to appreciate the little things, and enjoy the rest of your week :)
~Lauren