In honors of Mother's Day, I have decided to post this early because my mom deserves more than a day to celebrate how awesome she is. This post highlights all the times my mom has saved me from embarrassing, and horrible outcomes. The phrase "Mother knows best" exists because it is 100% true. Think of all the reasons you have called your mom, probably because you had no idea what you were doing. There is no surprise that there's an increase in calls to mom when starting college, but over the years, some of the calls I have made to my mom have been downright ridiculous. I'm not sure if after she reads this, she will be proud or embarrassed of me, but hey, gotta learn things in life in some way shape or form! With that, thank you, Mom, for always supporting me, helping me, being my twin, and guiding me through all my endeavors no matter how strange they are!
1. The classic laundry questions
Before coming to college, I had never done a single load of laundry in my life. I had no idea how to use the washer or dryer, and didn't know what fabric softener was despite the fact that its name gave it away. I was grateful to have a mom that did my many loads of laundry, washed all my chalky leotards every week, folded and put away my clothes, as well as everyone else's in the family. With that, my first load of laundry that I did in college was a huge milestone for me. Standing in front of the washer, Tide in hand, I looked at the dials and turned it to warm because that seemed like a happy medium between hot and cold. I then looked at the other dial and switched it to mixed load, and even though my laundry was clearly a mixed load, I had to double check. Out came the phone as I speed dialed my mom, confirming that it was in fact the right setting, so I hung up. My next obstacle was liquid detergent. Was I supposed to fill the cap all the way? Halfway? 1/4 of the way? I could have looked it up on Google, but out came the phone again. In the end, my clothes made it through their first load done by yours truly.
2. "How do I get rid of a burnt popcorn smell?"
Ask anyone, I can't cook to save my life. This includes microwaving as well. Back in middle school, I decided to pop a bag of popcorn. My mom or brother always did this for me, but they weren't home. I read the instructions on the bag that said two to three minutes. I picked three because I wanted to make sure it was "cooked" all the way through. The microwave beeped, I opened the bag to find some popcorn that was definitely cooked all the way through because it was black. But what was worse than inedible popcorn was the horrendous smell that was spreading throughout the house. It was inescapable; upstairs, and downstairs. It was starting to give me a headache, so I knew it was time to call mom to ask her what I should do. She ended up getting home, astonished at the smell and at the fact that I didn't know how to microwave popcorn. Windows that I had never seen opened before, I didn't even know they opened in the first place, were propped for the rest of the day as well as all the fans on full blast. Because of this instance, this leads to the next reason that I still frequently call my mom.
3. "How long do I cook this?"
This one is purely paranoia because I learned from my popcorn incident that instructions can't always be trusted, but Mom can. One of the first weeks of college, I called my mom to ask her how long I should reheat a slice of pizza in the microwave. Seems ridiculous, right? Her answer was "heat it up until it is warm." I then responded "well what if I leave it in there too long?" Her very common sense answer was "then it will be too hot to eat and you will burn your mouth." I jump to the conclusion that whatever I do, it will end up burnt. I still call her over and over again asking the same question about a variety of foods, and the answer is the same every time. I don't trust myself until Mom's stamp of approval is made clear.
4. "Someone broke into the house"
Several years back, Christopher and I were left at home so our parents could go on a date night. They went to dinner and a movie, but about two hours into our freedom, there was a loud crash upstairs and then we heard footsteps. At this point, Christopher and I were scared out of our socks, and called our parents. They were in the movie, and I think they highly doubted that someone broke in, but they came home anyways. While we were waiting for them to get home, Christopher went and got his baseball bat, and I went and grabbed the largest bread knife I could find. (My plan was to just hold it because it looked intimidating). When they got home, my dad went upstairs to go investigate the scene. I can't exactly remember what grade I was in, but young enough to still play with little rubber bouncy balls in the bath tub. Turns out, the window breaking was actually my whole shower rod falling off the wall, hitting my cup full of bouncy balls and spilling them all over the tile. The bouncy balls bouncing all over the place turned out to be the "footsteps." For those of you who have read my previous posts, it looks like shower curtains falling off the wall is a common trend for me!
5. "I forgot my folder"
This call will never be outgrown. Elementary school, middle school, high school, and college. Funny how the distance becomes greater and greater for each school, yet that doesn't matter to my mom. I am so grateful that she has made the trip to deliver my folder to me every time because I am that person that freaks out if I don't have what I need. She even drove an hour and a half to St. Peter when I forgot one of my folders for a class that I didn't even have that day. If that doesn't say how great of a mom I have, I don't know what does. I have made the "I forgot" calls many times for many things, and I have a feeling I will make many more in the future.
6. "I ran into a mailbox"
This happened to be on a Terrible Tuesday, also the iciest day of the year. I was already running a little late to school, and I had a National Honor Society meeting that morning. As I was turning the corner in my neighborhood, the wheel turned, but the car didn't. It just kept going straight, and no matter how many times I pumped the brakes, nothing was working. The whole moment became slow motion as the car was getting closer and closer to the mailbox of my neighbor. The song "Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood started to play in my head and I braced myself for impact. In reality, I was going about 7 MPH because I am a grandma driver when it is snowy out anyways, so I side swiped the mailbox a bit. At that point I didn't know what to do. Should I go to school or go home? I decided to go with a hit and run, and called my mom on the way and left her to deal with it. Not one of my proudest daughter moments, but I was not about to be late for the first time in my life. In the end, they needed a new mailbox, and instead of signing my guest book with their names at my grad party, they drew a mailbox and I knew exactly who it was.
7. "Just checking in"
This call made its first debut in college. I was one of those college freshman that didn't want to admit they missed their mom, so "just checking in" actually meant "I miss you a lot and need to hear your voice." I became very invested in what my mom would be doing everyday, which I never was in high school (sorry Mom). Even the fact that she went to Target and did laundry while watching Dr. Phil became interesting to me. I tried to keep the conversations going as long as they could so I could continue to hear her voice and feel some familiarity. I did this by racking my brain for anything and everything, no matter how random it was. My mom has always been my workout partner, so I even started to make the "just checking in call" while on the elliptical or bike to make it feel more like normal. Not only does college teach you about school related things, but also it teaches you to call your mom often!
8. Being sick for the first time in college
Being sick for the first time in college without my mom there to take care of me has got to be one of the worst feelings ever. I made the call to her when my roommate had finally left the room. When she picked up, I immediately started crying, ignoring the fact that I don't like to act wimpy when I am sick. I didn't even have a question about laundry or anything, I just laid there on my futon blubbering into the phone to the point where I don't think my words were able to be comprehended. As I was laying there, all I wanted was her to make me some chicken noodle soup with grilled cheese and take care of me as she always did, but she was an hour away. She still went full out mom on me and told me everything to do such as what meds to take, foods to eat, etc.., which helped a lot because I was doing everything wrong at that point. She still manages to take care of me no matter how far away I am.
9. "Can you do me a favor?"
This memorable moment took place during j-term my freshman year during the time that my mom drove me to campus everyday. Before class started, I went to go print out my project that I had on a flash drive. It was about halfway through class that it hit me-I forgot to take my flash drive out of the school computer. This is when I made the quick text during class telling her specifically what computer it was in and how to get there. I could not focus in class at all until I received the picture of the stupid piece of purple plastic in my mom's hand. Looking back on it, I don't understand why I was so concerned about my drive getting stolen considering the fact that Gusties don't steal, and that I leave my laptop and all my belongings sitting alone in the caf while I go run errands on a daily basis!
10. "My hairdryer caught on fire"
Along with shower curtains, I also have bad luck with hairdryers. Knowing my luck, it was probably a Tuesday, but I was getting ready like I usually did. As I was drying my hair, my hairdryer started to make this buzzing sound, it then caught fire and started spewing out black burnt stuff everywhere. I have always wished my hair would dry faster, but this is not what I meant. Once I unplugged it, the flame died out and I phoned my mom. It went a little like this "hey Mom, can I use your hairdryer because mine just caught on fire, ok thanks, bye!" Casual. I made another plea of help when my new hairdryer proceeded to catch fire while I was studying abroad this year.
11. "Can you bring me a new pair of shorts?"
Take it back to first grade track and field day. I unfortunately could not participate due to a broken arm from flying out of a trampoline, s0 I was cheerleader that day. Mrs. Ingebritson lined us up to make a quick bathroom break before we went outside. I had gotten pretty good at doing everything one handed, but de-clothing myself was still a challenge for first grade Lauren. Because of this, I couldn't get my shorts down in time. I will just leave it at that. Earlier that day, I was given the choice to be cheerleader, or have my mom bring me home. This was the deciding factor, and I called my mom to come retrieve me, as well as retrieve me a pair of dry shorts. Luckily, I have not had to make that call since that day!
12. "My car isn't letting me turn it off"
This is not one of my proudest moments. I pulled into the high school parking lot for gymnastics practice. I then routinely tried to turn the key and pull it out of the ignition, but it wasn't letting me. I tried again and again, but it was like it was jammed. I pulled out the phone and called home, once I explained the situation, I was in full panic mode because I had past car problems where it wouldn't let me shift it into park (another time my mom was called.) "Is the car in park?" I looked down, and sure enough, I was still in drive with my foot on the brake. This is what I would like to call a blonde moment, but still, mom knows best.
13. "Can you come pick me up?"
This one isn't exactly odd, but it is pretty rare for me to make this call. Before I had a car, my mom would take me to gymnastics practice 5 days a week at TAGS Gymnastics. That day, we were working on mastering our tumbling series on beam. For me that was two simultaneous back handsprings. My problem is that I could never go straight, which is a problem when trying to land on a 4 inch wide plank of wood. I had a pretty big fear of these, but this day, I decided to throw it by myself and see what happened. Once again, I did not go straight, but ended up crotching the beam, and somewhere in between hitting the beam and hitting the ground I got a nice batch of whiplash. Me being one who doesn't like to show that I am hurt decided to try to go to the next event which was bars. I knew it was time to call Mom when I couldn't support my head doing warm ups, so I made the walk of shame to my locker and made the call saying that I hurt my neck, crotch, and my pride.
14. I thought I was supposed to everyday
Back in elementary school I would see Christopher call my mom every day once he got inside from getting off the bus. I don't know exactly how this started, but it is one of those things I picked up as well and remember doing everyday. I liked to see how fast I could dial my Mom's number, as it was muscle memory at this point, and I made up a little song to remember. The conversations didn't last long, but it was more of like a "hey I'm home" followed by a "how was your day?" and me responding with "good" every time. Most of the time she was out at Target running errands and she would always say she would be home soon. Because of this daily ritual, this is why I still have my Mom's number engraved into my head (as well as Pizza Hut's number because that is the song I used to memorize her number). This habit was not a bad thing at all, in fact, I wish it had stuck all the way through high school.
15. To share my successes
When I get a good exam score, an interview for an internship, or am proud of something I have done, my mom is the first person I want to tell. This is due to the fact that I know she is truly proud of me. Telling my mom is the college equivalent to putting it on the fridge for everyone to see. As much as I don't want to admit it, hearing that she is proud of me will always mean more than when anyone else tells me that. She is my biggest cheerleader, and everyone needs someone to cheer them on during their college years, and all throughout their lives. I can guarantee that I will still be calling my mom about future job offers, promotions, and hopefully saying that I am able to still do a backflip when I am 40 (that may be a call never made).
I'm so blessed to have a mom that is so selfless, flexible, willing to help, compassionate, supportive, beautiful inside and out, amazing, knowledgable, relatable, loving..the list goes on and on. As I wrote this, I have realized that there is one call that I have never made, and for all that she has done for me, it is one that should be made more often. Many college students don't take the time to call their mom and express how grateful they are for her, and how much they love her. I am guilty of this, that is for sure. While I can say it in writing, it is way different than actually saying it. So Mom, you better be ready! To anyone that knows my mom, you know just how special she is, and that she deserves the world.
I love you, Mom! This is your week.
~Lauren