This week, I want to talk about 10 things I do to relax and relieve stress. I'm a big advocate for physical wellbeing, but mental wellbeing is just as important as physical. I don't think there is any exact definition for what it means to relax, it is different for everyone, but what I do know, is that it can be hard to relax when you can't escape the thoughts racing through your mind. For this post, I went around and asked what word comes to mind when people hear the word "relax." The most common answers I got were yoga, essential oils, and substances that are only used by 21+ year olds :) #college. It is almost like a stereotype. Yoga is not the answer to everything! I have not used any of those tactics before, and because of that, I'd like to share the ways I channel those thoughts and that energy into a way that allows me to relax, relieve stress, but allow my thoughts and worries to still exist.
1. Exercise
This one probably seems counterproductive since a lot think exercising is not relaxing at all. Let me explain. Exercise, while it may sound horrible, helps your body relax without you even knowing it. First, it is a great stress reliever. Had a bad day? Go sprint it away. Significant other break up with you over text? Throw a med ball at the ground as hard as you can. Get bad news? Go lift some weights. Use the negative energy and turn it into something positive, cause it ain't doin' you any good. Now, behind the scenes, exercise releases "feel good" endorphins, so as much as you dread going to the gym, I guarantee, you will feel better once you do. If throwing heavy things isn't for you, I often like to walk on treadmill while jamming out to calm down and relax...while checking all my social media sites over and over again of course. Walking is the time that I like to sort out my thoughts, solve problems, and deal with anything else on my mind. For the record, yoga falls into this category so if you think exercising to relax is crazy and you are a yoga junkie, I told you so.
2. Write
You probably saw this one coming. Writing my blogs is so rewarding and relaxing for me. I have always been one that is better at expressing myself through words rather than saying them. It is easy for me, as I always have ideas coming into my head, so I write to give them some place to go! My blog isn't the only place I write. Ever since middle school, I have kept a journal that I write in every night. I include details about my day, what I'm grateful for, prayers, and worries. It is much healthier to acknowledge my worries, and let them spill on the page, rather than bottling them up. I like to go back and look at those entries from a while ago because it's funny to see that one of my prayers was for the guy in my tech ed class in 6th grade to let me use the same vice as him. It's also awesome to look back and see what prayers have been answered...that one never was. If getting started with writing is your problem, or you're short on ideas, there are millions of prompts on Google! I started out with writing three things I was grateful for, and it has turned into me telling you how to write! I encourage you to try it, and see where it takes you.
3. Bubble Baths
This one is hard to do at college, as we have showers that could double as MRI machines. But when I am at home over winter break, I definitely take advantage of it. There is nothing like coming home on a cold Minnesota winter day and hopping in the steamy tub with the Stress Relief bubble bath soap (it actually stresses me out because I put too much soap in, and it overflows every time). Even better, the jets make for a great massage. To make things better, I light a candle and put on some Colbie Caillet or Michael Buble tunes. It is the epitome of tranquility. I like to spend my time thinking, praying, letting my worries melt away, and making bubble beards and mustaches..I bet I'm not the only one that still does that.
4. Read
To those of you that have kept up on my posts, as much as I love reading my psych textbooks, I do not read them to relax. Instead, I reach for the most sappy, cheesy, and predictable love story novel I can find. The girl in me can't resist a happy ending where the hot cowboy marries the poor farm girl. I read about happy things when I want to take a load off. Usually I read in bed right before I call it a night. When reading for school, I have established the rule that I can't read in bed because I'll get too comfy, so allowing myself to read for fun in bed is a treat. I don't have much time to read, and haven't for a couple years, but since I have recently started again, I instantly have started to like it more. Plus, it is much healthier to stare at a book rather than a lit up screen before bed!
5. Draw
When I say draw, I am not talking about drawing objects. I can't draw to save my life. I took a drawing class in college, hoping to finally be able to draw a decent picture of my dog...that dream didn't come true. I like to do more calligraphy, and draw out my favorite bible verses such as the one above that I did during my drawing class. It isn't just the act of drawing that makes me feel relaxed. It is that, in combination with seeing the verse, and feeling connected to God at the moment. It gives me peace, strength, hope, and whatever else I am needing. I have my drawings hanging up all over my dorm room, and have given them as pick me ups to my friends and family. The nice thing about drawing is that you can do whatever you want with it, draw your feelings, worries, or just mindlessly doodle while thinking. It is a great channel to put your worries into.
6. Tunes up to tune out
This one is pretty common, but I rely on this heavily. I feel so much less stressed when I am listening to music while doing my homework than if I am not. I have songs for every mood I am in. For some odd reason, whenever I'm sad, I listen to "Bad Day" by Green Day and it always makes me feel better...two negatives make a positive? I have a morning routine of getting my cold brew, sitting down with my laptop, and plugging into my "Jesus Jams" playlist. All my stress melts away when I do this. I tune out, and it is just me in the cafeteria filled with people. The lyrics comfort me, and prepare me for the possible stressors of the day. The music that appeals to you at the time can say so much. I know that when I am happy, I'll put on my happy songs and it lifts my spirits even more. But if I am struggling, exhausted, etc, I crave my Jesus Jams or the Fray. I have spent hours just laying on my bed listening to music because it is so relaxing, and I never get bored. It's ok to tune the rest of the world out for a while.
7. Coffee Dates
I have a tradition with my childhood best friend, Anna, that every time she comes home from South Dakota, we go on a coffee date..aka catch up on life and talk about our problems. As I said, I am not one to express my emotions verbally, but something about the coffee shop vibe, caffeine in flowing throughout me, and how close I am with Anna, it just comes out! She is the only person I feel comfortable opening up to about issues that are really sitting heavily on my heart. Being able to talk about my worries with someone I trust is like a weight lifted off my shoulders, leaving me refreshed after. Find that person that serves that purpose and can be there for you. As far as relaxing goes, I like coffee shops and cafes because of how chill they are. I find it ironic that coffee shops are so calm despite the fact that they are serving us beverages to make us less calm. I do my homework in the coffee shop on campus because it makes me feel like there is less pressure on myself, and I can do my work at ease. (I am currently writing this blog here right now). I get so much work done at coffee shops because I get distracted by myself if I'm completely alone; such as organizing my whole room, drawers, cleaning, or distracted by my own thoughts. Being at a coffee shop gives me some social facilitation even though I know no one is watching me....I think. Overall, silence drives me insane. I feel more relaxed here, and when I feel relaxed, I feel like I can get more done! I am convinced that coffee and coffee shops conquer all problems.
8. Organize
Just like exercise, this is another one where you are probably thinking that I am totally out of my mind. Technically, I never said relaxing and stress relief had to be fun! But if you are a perfectionist like me, organizing is fun all the time. Most people feel overwhelmed when their schedule or life feels all jumbled, and don't feel better until it is. That feeling of relief once something is fixed is so refreshing, and you can finally take it easy. This goes the same for organizing things rather than your life. If I am stressed, or need to relax, I will pick a drawer, closet, purse, etc to organize. Being able to visually see organization happening is rewarding for me and gives me that sense that something is fixed. They always say that making your bed, or cleaning your room just makes you feel better, and it's true! I just generalize it to all things. A tidy underwear drawer makes for a happy Lauren (it's the little things as I say). I've also heard a method by a podcast I heard online, that while you are organizing that space you choose, imagine that your space is your life stressors, and as you make it tidy, those stressors go away too. I can't say that I have ever tried this method, as it is hard to imagine my underwear and socks as a research paper, or FND.
9. Netflix
Yes, I netflix. There are those days where I will couch surf to the point where Netflix asks if I am still watching, and is the only reason I am forced to get up in order to tell them that I am. That is completely ok! I don't always feel like going to do something in order to relax. I get hooked on my shows very easily, and it doesn't help that it only gives me seven seconds to determine if I should do something productive with my life before the next episode starts. Netflix is a good outlet for me because I get involved with the character's lives and plot, making me forget about my life and all the homework I still have to do, internships I have to apply for, and laundry that is calling my name. Some of their problems are bigger than mine, which gives me comfort and makes me feel lucky that I am not running through a forest being hunted by "the grounders" in the show The 100. I like being able to choose what I want to watch such as One Tree Hill for when I want some romance, Young and Hungry for some humor, The 100 for action, etc. It's kind of like watching what mood you're in, similar to my point about music as I mentioned above. While the term Netflix and Chill means something else to most people, to me, I literally Netflix and I chill.
10. Spend time with people I love
I leave this one last because I have learned that doing things on your own all the time, and being isolated, can be stressful in itself. Doing relaxing activities by yourself can be rewarding for certain situations, but my heart, mind, and everything else is happiest when I am with others. Being with my family always guarantees endless laughs, weird stories, great experiences, and enjoying the little things such as trying to pick out the best looking cantaloupe at Fresh Thyme with my dad, working out next to my mom on the elliptical with my mom, or blasting music in the car with my brother. They allow me to speak my mind, or take my mind off something if I choose not to talk about it. The great thing about family, is that your stresses become their stresses, and they will help you in whatever way possible in order to solve it. It's always nice to have someone to go do something with at all times, and my mom is that person for me. They know when I am stressed, they know when I am happy, sad, upset, because they know me inside and out. Sometimes it's nice to not have to say anything about how I'm feeling, explain something, or try to be someone I am not!
These have no 100% guarantee to eliminate all your stress and problems from your life, even I know that. Watching Netflix definitely does not make my homework go away (highly recommend finishing the homework first!!). Your body and mind are connected, which is why some methods may not work at the time. If you're physically exhausted, don't go work out, do something more low key like write. If you have been sitting at a desk all day, don't go sit at a desk and write, go work out! You get the idea. With school in full swing, these will be put into use a lot more than they were in the summer, that's for sure!
Have a relaxing week, my friends! Stay tuned for next week's post on National Gymnastics Day!
~Lauren